and so…

not another journal… -_-’

i hate making journals without anyone reading. i mean, if that would be the case, gawa na lang ako ng diary…

on the second thought, i hate making one. because tamad ako magsulat… and the last time i made a diary, my ever-nosy mother read it. damn! when will i have my own privacy in this goddamn house?!

i wrote journal entries at my deviantart account. but my sister accidentally read it one time… and the one that she read is supposedly a secret. -_-’

so, i opted multiply since i can make my journals private. :3

but then, kuya jay [ermitanyongiskagero.wordpress.com] asked me to make a journal either here or at blogspot. but i hate blogspot merely because of unpleasant memories. so i ended up here… -_-’

i am supposed to tell my unfortunate tale [babala: wag tularan] about my first semester on my second course.

walang nakakaalam na di na talaga ako pumapasok… dahil indrop ko lahat ng subject ko. -_-’

tinanong nga ni kuya rob, via multiply, kung bakit ko indrop. naitanong ko din sa sarili ko…

BAKIT?!

hmmm

ganito un..

pumapasok naman kasi talaga ako nung june saka nung kalagitnaan ng july. kaso i have this very bad habit of staying up late up to 5AM [a habit i acquired last year, nung di ako pumapasok dahil sa sudden course shifting. malapit na ako magcapping and pinning, when i suddenly decided not to go to my health center duties.] tapos siempre parang pagod katawan ko nun. so papasok ako at 8AM or pag 10aM, matututlog ako kaya nag-ooversleep ako. pag 8am naman, sobrang antok ako sa uwian, so matutulog ako pag-uwi and i will end up either bangag sa tulog @ 1:30 PM or nag-ooversleep ako. kakaganun, nagloko attendance ko. sa sobrang inis ko, indrop ko na ung subjects ko. 5 of them. 4 major, 1 minor.

the worst part is this: since seasonal ang subjects, i still have to wait for another year to get my major subjects. so, minor na lang maku2ha ko. and 12 units lang un, approximately. dahil nung nagnursing ako, nakuha ko na halos lahat ng minor subjects…

so, it’s a secret i can never tell…

because…

eto na ung last chance ko talaga. so alam ko itatanong ninyo. bakit mo pa ginawa yan, alam mo na palang last chance mo na? kasi nga masama ugali ko. saka ewan ko ba what happened sa akin. basta biglang nawalan na lang ako ng gana…

my boyfriend is motivating me naman to behave well in my studies. you see, my boyfriend is already 24 years old. 5 years older than me. so he was expecting na 4 years na lang hihintayin niya para pwede na kami maging legal [binawalan ako na mag-bf dahil sinisisi nila sa pagbbf ko ung pagloloko ko nung nakaraan, which is not true naman] and para pwede niya na ako pakasalan. haaaizt. and i still can’t tell him the truth. he will be angry at me. hello, sino kasi nasa matinong pag-iisip ang matutuwa sa ginawa ko?

madidisappoint parents ko for sure. pero nakaisip na ako ng paraan. mag-iipon ako sabay magwoworking student muna ako habang minor subjects pa lang ung mga maku2ha ko this 2nd sem. tapos aamin na lang ako pag supposedly 4th year na ako. para di ako pahintuin… buti na lang mura lang tuition sa school ko. -_-’

hai, napakainsensitive ko. un lang un. sana mauntog ulo ko nang big time para magtino. but hell, kelangan pa nga bang iuntog ulo ko? tigas eh.